Year 2014 will be a symbol for great change and revolution in India, not just politically (humiliation of his highness Mr.Rahul and his family’s generation by generation inherited kingdom of Congress in the general elections because obviously “Poverty is just a state of mind” 😛 ) but also in terms of Science (Mars Orbital Mission), Technology (new Indian start-ups entering international markets and conquering it), Sports (Indian Soccer, Kabaddi, Tennis, Hockey leagues getting sponsors and large amount of audience which earlier was possible only when India-Pak cricket game was on, humph!) and International relations (Modi saying “May force be with you” at Madison square, wuuusshhh), sach me “acche din aa gaye”.. Ummm, may be for Modi, hugging Huge Jackman and all (huh, that’s like my childhood dream, sob, sob)
Anyways, so yeah, long lived dream of movies makers to earn big and fat bucks has also come true, movies are making hell lot of money than they used to be 2-3 years ago. And interestingly the movies which are scoring bucks have no sir-haath-pair in terms of script, screenplay or acting.
So pulling out some facts and figures and analyzing the data (I am an analyst btw and this is what I pretend to do daily in my office), we see that the Bollywood movies which have highest collection worldwide were released this year, with PK topping with 649 crores and next in line Dhoom-3 with 542 crores (I dont know what Amir Khan would do with this kind of money, sponsor Yashraj to make movie starring Uday Chopra because no one else will do). Anyways next in league will be movies like Happy New Year, Kick, Bang Bang! Salman dude, god is repaying you for being a virgin (please refer to Koffee with Karan for further details)!!! Salman is like Godfather of poor crowd, no matter what kind of shitty roles he does, people follow him religiously. You can see people go mad, dancing imitating him with his lame moves with hands in pocket, it’s as meaningless as Abhishek Bacchan’s career. Hritik (Bradley Copper of India without Oscar nomination) poor soul needs money, I heard his ex-wife demanded 400 crore as alimoney (aylaa!). But I have to give the director of Bang Bang 120% points for shooting 200 scenes with Hritik’s bare chest body and not dying just drooling over him.
BTW, who was the actress in the movie, I totally forgot her name, some chick with some accent? Arrrre the same chick who dated “bhai”, BPL-ed (bumps pe laat) him and now dating that gora of Kapoor khandaan!! Ehhh, leave it yaar, I totally wasooled my 300 bucks back watching wet Hritik in place like Thailand (remind me to skip some meals and save money for a trip to Phuket, I think 10 years worth savings should be enough). SRK-o-SRK, what do I say about you, my dreamy lover “Rahul” boy, well not so much of an IQ after Rahul baba fiasco.It’s time you stop growing 800 packs and trying to be Brad Pitt of Bollywood, he has got Jolie, Period. (Just kidding, big big FAN!!)
Jokes apart, what are the reasons for the immense success of these movies. Is this because of
A) Booze and weed in India is so cheap that people are high all the time and see Christain Bale in SRK, Decaprio in Hritik?
B) The IQ of India’s has dropped as much as Russian currency Ruble in last year?
C) India’s are so bored of their lives that they have nothing else to do except for watching Salman walking in front of a train like he is doing a moonwalk (Micheal Jackson must have turned in his grave right now, may god rest his soul 😐 )
Jisne bhi asnwer diya wo jeet sakte hai 1 crore ke IQ points, bas type kijiye answer or bhej dijiye 101010 par!!
Jokes now seriously apart, coming out of the 100 crore club, we have also seen movies like Haider, Dedh Ishquiya, Highway, Queen being appreciated by critics as well as the audience and doing decent business on the Box office too. The sheer audacity with Haider was directed, acted and carried with one of the best music scores of the year, was one of its kind. Haider rightly bagged 5 filmfare awards including Best Actor for Shahid, Best supporting actor and actress for KK menon and Tabbo. Queen again a very different, refreshing movie, bagged 6 Filmfare including Best Actress for Kangana, Best movie, Director. Watching a girl, who just got dumped on her wedding day, struggle adopting life, and in a different continent altogether with such light-heated comedy was real fun. Madhuri was as elegant as it could get and the timing of Nasseer and Warsi’s wit and humor was brilliant. Alia was a treat to watch in Highway, you never expect an actress so young to play such a role and that considering it was her second movie, she rightfully won Best actress Critic.
So all-in-all, very good year for Hindi movie fans, not just in terms or quality but as well as quantity. Despite many good Hollywood releases this year, most of the movies earned money, which shows that Indian audience still hails Bollywood. Seeing the numbers and the kind of movies, I don’t know if we should be proud that Indian GDP is increasing or depressed that average Indian IQ is decreasing. Anyways I should still be proud, at-least Bollywood is making this keeping up to this the song “mere desh ki dharti sona ugle and ugle heere moti, meri desh ki dharti”